A letter to my love.

Dear love,You know, I’ll be dying one day. Please. Please. Don’t cry for me like how I keep crying for my dad. You know, my heart feels heavy every night. I lose my sleep too. Please I don’t want you to spoil your health. Please don’t feel like how I am feeling right now. It is unexplainable. It hurts. It feels like the world is taken away from me. It feels like I don’t have anything left with me. I can only think good for few minutes. Love, haven’t you learned that goodness is what you must take from others and leave the rest? I insist you to practice that. Don’t cry like how I do. It’s been four months and I can’t even bring myself back onto daily life. I’ve certainly learned the trick if you ever feel this way – my way. Just before you know you’re going to crash, just smile widely. I do that more often, especially when the tears are unstoppable. Who would know that I’ve let my mind go on a trip? I, then, find and walk into a packed place where nobody can reach me. Washroom goes right, may be. They’d think I’m pushing the waste out of my body. But certainly I don’t do that. I cry like a four years old cries for her father in the crowd. I do that, people have kept my names too, so this is one of the reasons why I don’t want you to cry. 

Love, I’m stopping you just so that you may realise. Being alone in a crowd sucks. So just behave yourself. A crowd has both good and bad. Find a good one for yourself. Just don’t grief like how I do. You know the fear and being scared of losing you would still be there. 

Love, Would you hate me if I die? I don’t hate my father so I believe you wouldn’t too. My prayings have increased for him. I hope yours would increase for me too. 

Since you’re my Love, please increase your love for me then. Please don’t cherish the emotions of darkness. Don’t drown yourself like how I do. 

I don’t want you to end up behaving like me.

Yours only.


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